At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize