you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
