I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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