Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pooping to opera.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
