your parents love me but you hate me
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
