Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
