'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
