The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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