my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
