You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
