I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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