ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
