how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
