ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
