Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
