Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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