If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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