Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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