I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
