come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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