she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
