The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize