I think I died a long time ago.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
