so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
