Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
