I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
