yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
