You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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