just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
