i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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