so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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