Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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