I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
