my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
