also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
