He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
