He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The ass gains better be worth it
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