Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
