just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
