My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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