This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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