i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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