Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
