And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He felt like a one man threesome
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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