He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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