i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
