i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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