literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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