That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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