Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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