I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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