is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
