I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
