YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
