I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
