Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
