Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
COCAINE IS GR8
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
