hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
